Old Poems
Bottled and Canned – August 3, 2010
I see you and my heartbeat rises
I’m going through all of these disguises
Lost in my soul, I know my heart is for you
But you’re already whole, what can I do?
I can break you to pieces
and act as sweet as a Reese’s
hiding all my ugly folds and creases
and put you back together in my hand
Or at least, that was the plan
See, you already had me, bottled and canned
The good stuff, low-fat and slow-churned
A good bluff, it was effectively kerned
To be at my funeral, and laugh at me in the hearse
You were smart, intelligent and elegant
But I was dumb, passionate and ignorant
I was in love, and you’re addictive like cigarettes
I can’t stop, all I need is your nicotine
All love no hate, you’d never get sick of me
Secretary of State, power and control like Hillary
So I did it, I told you what you meant to me
and I was blind, despite the obvious heresy
I tied my own leash, even a dog wouldn’t take this treachery
I made myself vulnerable, Achilles’s Heel in my chest
And you put an arrow straight through it, right through the flesh.
All I wanted to do was duck, cover and hide
Once I saw the facts, understood and recognized
That the truth is obscured, the cake is a lie
That you’re insecure, and I was just on the side
I’m done with you, and I’m burying you alive
Final nail in the coffin, I don’t care if you cry
Out of air? I hear you coughing, dying inside
I hesitated, thought about giving in and taking flight
The scent of your hair, your smile and all our beautiful nights
Should I run back and help her? No, it serves her right.
Confused —5/27/10
I can’t believe I acted so stupid
thought I got hit by a cupid
But before I knew it
I couldn’t believe what I had ruined
What if I told you that all I wanted
Was to make it right but I just made it worse
This happens every time I must have a curse
Like I will always whine ‘til I rust in a hearse
I know the truth I just don’t know what to do with it
All the ideas I end up with are ludicrous
All I ever do always ends up perilous
I over-think until I get ridiculous
Always making you think I don’t care-enough
Or even worse, like I care too-much
Like you’re tryna drive and I jammed your clutch
Filling up your mind with all these thoughts and stuff
Making you think I have you trapped and cuffed
I don’t know what it is – but it must be love.
The Feeling >alternate ending< —3/31/09
It’s The feeling I haven’t ever felt before
The attraction was but only a lure
The feeling makes me want to roar
The reeling in of what I adore
The feeling she’ll come through the door
The feeling makes me want to soar
The feeling penetrates through my core
its as big as a dinosaur
eating me alive like a Tyrannosaur
Around her I can’t even think
I’m so close I can’t even blink
Into her I just want to sink
Roll around like I’m in a ‘blading rink
it makes me feel like I’m a king
Her very sight, … petrifies
the words that fill my mouth, are only lies
I’m too scared, I’ll make her sigh
all of the emotion, it fills my mind
The feeling I never want to leave
The connection, it feels so deep
that My heart stopped when she sneezed
its like I’m locked down and she got the keys
I’m crashing into people I can’t even see
It’s the feeling I am blind
It’s the feeling I want to cry
It’s the feeling I want to tell her
invigorated when I only smell her
The feeling she’s so high I can’t even reach
The feeling I’m so low she can’t even see
It’s the feeling I know that maybe we can be.
The feeling
It’s The feeling I haven’t ever felt before
The attraction was but only a lure
The feeling makes me want to roar
The reeling in of what I adore
The feeling she’ll come through the door
The feeling makes me want to soar
The feeling penetrates through my core
its as big as a dinosaur
eating me alive like a Tyrannosaur
Around her I can’t even think
I’m so close I can’t even blink
Into her I just want to sink
Roll around like I’m in a ‘blading rink
it makes me feel like I’m a king
Her very sight, … petrifies
the words that fill my mouth, are only lies
I’m too scared, that I’ll make her sigh
The feeling I never want to leave
The connection, it feels so deep
that My heart stopped when she sneezed
its like I’m locked down and she got the keys
she don’t even know it but I’m on her leash
I’m crashing into people I can’t even see
It’s the feeling I am blind
It’s the feeling I want to cry
It’s the feeling I want to tell her
invigorated when I only smell her
The feeling she’s so high I can’t even reach
The feeling I’m so low she can’t even see
It’s the feeling I know that we can never be.
EDITED: 3/31/09
Life Dismantled — 12/16/08
Life
Bright, Beautiful
Long, Emotional, Energetic
Amazing, Wordless, Peaceful, Cool
Uncaring, Cutthroat, Sharp
Dark, Evil
Death
The Window — August 21, 2008
A long time ago I dreamed
of something, not as it seems
of something, never thought would come to life
Today it came to me
I see the window, big and tall
low to the ground, so I can’t fall
Rubbing my eyes, to see if I saw
Standing before me, my real dream
proving, things, are not as they may seem
I put one foot through, because I believe
Standing there, looking in fear
The window, is open here
I waited all my life for this
yet frightening, like a snake’s hiss
All I need to do, is step through
A comfort of safety, on that side
Awaiting for me, is my ride
I look up at it, for it may buckle before me
The hinges shaking, is all I see
A simple step, is all I need
I know what to do, just follow my creed
yet the window, still falls on me
pushing it up, I can slip through
for if I entered, I could’ve flew
this is a fact, without proof I knew
no one to challenge, no one to compete
Yet I still fall back, broken in defeat.
EDITED:10/8/08
Inner Thought – August 19, 2008
I looked in her eyes
I see only what I despise
There’s not a fear that does not arise
Yet she’s, full of temptation
Fear that can only spark my imagination
Every word from her be hatin
Any word from me she be debatin
I see the fire in her eyes
I know it’s the devil in disguise
I know she will be the cause of my demise
Of pros and cons she is one of my highs
Oh the adrenaline
Oh the temptation to commit sin
All I do to fight it
Is stand there with a stupid grin
I tried burning holes in her skull, with my eyes
Her skin is fireproof, her heat be melting my hull
All reasons not to sin, all of a sudden, become null
Her eyes torture me
I feel her blazin heat
I see her eyes
Knowing not of which pair
I should keep my focus
Her illusions can do hocus pocus
Her energy is like a swarm of locusts
Her power is immediate and robust
To talk to her, I must
I couldn’t think, so I cussed
Went like a toddler into the corner, and hushed
I lost all thought, so I rushed
My heart reached to her, but was crushed
All my hopes, down the toilet, they were flushed
With her, anything, I wanted, to discuss
My heart pains
Like needles, of rain
I never spoke to her, never ever again —Did I, see her.
EDITED:12/16/08
